spoiled brat that i am
its is very rarely that i feel im a spoiled brat. some can say that i USUALLY am one, and some may claim that im not. it all, i guess, depends on ones standards of being spoiled.
lately ive been getting the stuff i WANT too often. not too easily, just too often. ive spent more than my usual monthly spenditure.. but im still not contented. gawwdd, whats wrong with me. how dare i spend all these money when a)there are hungry people out there, b) i dont earn my money, and c) i dont even fucking need these. i always dont need everything.
what's really bothering me is that my insights toggle between two options, no area in between. its either i feel like such an undeserving spoiled brat who wastes resources and time or i feel that i want more more more!
tangina. i know for a fact that im just being swayed by media.. im buying the so called must haves that people can actually live without. ok lang kung i just buy the esentials, BUT IM BUYING IN EXTREME AMOUNTS.
maybe im just being sour with the good fortune im having. i should just enjoy it, i really just should. i dont know....
besides summer 2007 fashion sucks so much i havent bought any item of clothing yet. arrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhh im going crazy!!!!!! :((
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
they're here and ive got a new clinique blusher and a new tube of origin's no pffery and tadahh!! a red COACH body bag!!;;)
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
my cheekbones suck!
:( jas's are so pretty.. and pao's... and my mom's. argghhh!!!
had my nails done white... damn its hideous.
pao says i blog like a blogger now.
summer is sibling ultimate bonding season!
happy summerr!!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
plague
my lolo and lola are finally arriving from the states on wednesday. i know that that doesnt really have much impact on you guys, but in this household.. its like the dispersion of a plague.. or worse, embarassment.
dont get me wrong people. i love these guys. i really do. they spoil us a hundred percent, showering us with things we dont need. they consider a hobby sending home a box full of chocolates, archie magazine, dollars, and just lately, MAKEUP! so, how dare i complain?
but what can i say, they arent exactly young. their morals arent what i call liberating. GUYS ARE NOW OUTLAWED IN THIS HOUSE!
pao and i spent the morning disinfecting my room of all traces of his existence. the box of memories, the pictures, the roses, his plates and his shoe... they all have to go! it looked depressing to be honest. its like going through a virtual break-up or possibly, death. imagince seeing everything about him in a box. i wish i took a pic of it, but it was just too.. ughh.. grotesque.
the point is, even if i might experience a month of absolute unmerciful spoilage, outbounds with friends are almost restricted. its like double security. and they might get a shock on how expensive lifestyle in manila has become. last two years, my lolo felt mugged when he took me shopping.. BUT THAT ISNT REALLLYY SHOPPING! it was just like an appetizer shopping-wise!
god bless my life.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
figured
i finally figured out what's wrong with me. i am too fond of comparing. i compare myself with everything. pao claims ever so often that i am unhealthily competitive. but it is true. i want to be the best in everything... unfortunately i never am, so i keep on forcing myelf. ugh. thats so pathetic.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
.i hate you. i do. you always make me feel undeserving of anything. that im not pretty enough. im not smart enough. im fucking not interesting enough! why? dahil ba insecure ka??? dahil b ur girlfriend was a nice slutty goddess? dahil ba giving compliments strip you of your aloofness? does making me feel like this make you so happy by some psychologically unjust reason!?? i dont even know why i still bother.
maybe i shouldnt. so there. friendship begone!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
cabs
one day, not too long ago, i was dating pao. we were going to transfer from greenhills to galle since 'pursuit of happiness' wasnt showing in promenade or theater mall. and since pao is this rich intsik beho who sweats money, we took the cab. by some rude twist of fate, we ended up getting in this rogue-minded one, who took unnecessary turns to the unnecessary streets... you get my drift? INIIKOT KAMI NUNG PUTA!
when we were riding downhill from the edsa highway (BIRUIN MO..PAPUNTA GALLE DUMAAN KAMI EDSA! THE NERVE!), i told the driver: "manong dyan nlng sa tabi.." paused. "iniikot mo kami e."
he was all like "anong iniikot?" and i wanted to hit him with my bag then and there,.. ooh i wanted to do all these inhumane things to torture him, like bang the door on his grubby fingers, or pick his eye with the mirror, or strangle him with the rosary (which he wouldnt mind i guess because he isnt really a moral-principled creature), or ask the guards outside to shoot him. "anong iniikot?" my ass!! ano ko tanga!???
damn it felt good after i did that though, (the telling off part, not the torturing.. but that would make me feel a lot better too to be honest). its like ive just paid up for all the inactiveness ive been letting myself be for quite a while. its also like looking after paolo and his money... so good so good.
id really really want to do it again. its more than liberating.
seriously, the philippines has the worst cab drivers, more than half of them are criminals in their own ways!! youd have a bigger chance of learning french in a day than having a week full of nice cab drivers.
...
how the fuck am i like that g-ann in PBB??? AND DION'S SUCH A FLIRT! reminds me of... a lot of girls i know actually.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
tidbits of the past days (boring part)
.you seriously dont know me. seriously. maybe its something we cant just MAKE HAPPEN, i meant us knowing each other well. in your mind, im just some annoying spoiled brat who looks at everythig under the onesided light of superficiality... guess what im more than that! im smart (or so i seeem??) and sensitive and............. uhhh, wait, maybe i am kind of just that but a little more.
.so i am 'that'! its not too much to be scared off. hahahhaha.. love you guys.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
summer
so i am vain. excluded from the picture are the other fragrances i use and the different shampoos and all those shit.
...
pao isnt usually that hideous, seriously. cameras just hate us. :(
still, its the day e. it deserves a little credit.
...
gawwwdddd... i need to so make a new layout! otherwise id abandon this blog completely!
btw, its so summer. im supposed to write something long and useful today, i dont know why i suddenly lost all the inspiration and so.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
“What has most inspired your personal style?”
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
aty and bryan
my anatomy plates's less thann undone. its barely in the process of getting itself started. blame the lack of time and inspiration for this, if you wish. im currently reading 'catcher in th rye' something i should've read a long time ago. i mean every self-confessed bookworm's gotta have read that!
btw bryanboy's sporting really couture-y clothes lately. love it! i really do! so familliar...m dulce??
i swear the next time i blog ill be quite sensible!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
......................................
sooooo.. how am i feeling? its like an uneven concoction of boredom, restlessness, anticipation, exhaustion, and this deeeepp desire to do my plates but not being in the mood for it. im wasting my time. i dont have enough of it to kill.. ive got a debut on sunday, and whole-day affair on mon (wink wink :D)
hmmmm.. i also feel pissed off. do i even have tell you guys why???
and im a decieved mood, because i lost my sketchpad. yes. the sketchad which got my 'best' artworks! and some unrecorded plates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!
i also need company besides pao's. i need people goddamnit! i cant just depend on books, and plates, and other people's blogs! i need conversations too.....lately ive been blogging like, like im not in the mood for it. iunno.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
on love
"...
you are in love when you admit that half of the cynic-inspired theories about love you've claimed before are pure bullshit.
no, love is not a power play, where the winner is the one with the wittiest strategies and the loser is the one who's stupid enough to follow their hearts.
love is about not calculating anymore, like who loves who better or the chances of breaking up or compatibility.
love is when you have your period, he understands you fully and still loves you.
love is carrying you on his back from one floor to another.
love is sleeping beside you with his hands on your eyes so that light wont get in your eyes.
love is allowing you to spend quality time with everything and everyone like your goddamned sisters and goddamned laptop.
love is waiting for an hour and a half in the street corner to see you for a few minutes.
love is never allowing you to go home alone especially when its past 5:30pm, even if the sun's still high and bright, enough to scorch your skin.
love is never getting bored with what you write, be it doodles, letters, articles, stories or testimonials to other anonymous people.
love is getting giddy when you realize how sexy his voice is when you wake him up in the middle of the night.
love is making you feel a spoiled brat but not allowing you to eat chocolates and sundaes when your throat hurts.
love is making kissing noises on the phone.
love is managing with just 45php.
love is the dellusion that you are the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, sexiest, talented, sweetest, fragrant smelling girl in the world. (even if you're monstrous, moronic, corny, dysfunctional, rudest, and hasn't brushed your teeth yet.)
and even if you very much want to,
love is never having to say you're sorry."
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
asshole.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
putanginang tangina. ayoko na.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
summer shop list.. SUMMER OH SUMMER!
i know that its too early to even think of this as i have a lot going on and all, but it would do me extreme good and reief to write down the summer list:
1. cocktail-cum-summer dress. white. breezy, classy, elegant, clean and nice fit.
2. havaianas
3. scarves
4. SWIMSUIT! black or prints.. hopefully push up.
5. night moisturizer from the face shop
6. blusher in pinkish orangey shade
7. a lot of nail polish.. black, white, strawberry, scarlet, gray, dark green, dark purple, dark red bergundy
8. a diary or a new year planner
9. spf50 moisturizer
i still have to revise this and so on, but ooohhhhh i just love writing this down.
im sad to say everything's out. leggings are gone, no more skinny jeans.. but huge breezy tops are still alive!
TAPUSIN NA NGA TONG KALOKOHANG FINALS NA 'TO!! NG MAKAPAGSUMMER NA KO!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
im taking it easy right now, which is very unadviceable. ngayon pa?? its the REAL final's week. atleast its no longer hell.
i hate dota i really really really really really fuckng do!
gottawork.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
today...
PAOLO MADE ME CRY KANINA!!!!! he chose computer games over me...AGAIN! pissed me off so much he had to really be sweet. still slightly mad about it...too bad i love him.
i hid under the comforter and kept on scraming him away saying "umuwi ka na". which he did after half an hour of futile sweetness. once i heard him shut the door, i cried like the little girl i am. awwww.. and he heard it and came rushing back and giving me a hug. awwww.
we ended up sleeping on the couch together after reviewing march 07 preview mag and consuming outrageous amounts of crepe. perfect.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
blemish
my skin's breaking out. :(
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
films and the like
surprise surprise, id be writing about my day.
woke up with at 8. i just luuurve saturdays, because its the day i can hang around my bed for an hour and a half without anyone bothering me. but i had to get myself ready for the day because i swore to fetch nica and migz from school at 9.30 via kuya mar (the driver). as i am a bitch punctuality wise though. at exactly 10.30am we were on our way to shoot.
baywalk was kinda boring... i expected baywalk to be like some sort of park or something. which it is ofcourse. i humiliated myself by interviewing this deaf-cum-stupid foreigner who claims he likes the philippines. i made a bigger fool of myself by paying fifty bucks for a kalesa ride that never happened. i hate it when i do stuff like that!
luneta turned out to be perfect. i love jose rizal.. he writes so good. i just didnt say it much kanina but the 'last farewell' bit he wrote... spelendid! we discussed serious school/block matters with nica and migz. we concluded business partnerships (e.e me and nica, dino and migz, teta and louie). we walked for about a third of a mile and ate at mcdo's. had a 'lively' conversation, everyone just kept on bein........
my day sounds so lame when i put it down. its actually nice and busy and... you know the days i imagine i should actually be having EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE?? with the driver taking me places, friends with cars!!, having lunch with friends, fetching my sisters and stuff.. being busy, happy, pretty and progressive.
OMFG IM NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
jihan likes me!
lesbo action is soooo past highschool.. so i must be kidding.
this is supposed to be me (or so i claim!) harderharhar!
who cares!! its pretty!!!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
ahlavet!
typo plate:
...so cfad!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
zaaarraa!
ZARA FINALLY UPDATED!!! THEY'RE A FUCKING MONTH LATE!!!
i knew it! prints are IT! and red... and finally.. WHITE!
well, they showcase they had now isnt as wonderful as sprint-winter 06. but still, you know how much i love summer fashion!
...im being materialistic again. ok lang. dalawang lingo nlng and i can be as superficial as i want to!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
03.09
everyone's complaining, whining, and downright bitching! no one's had any decent sleep this week. glad to know im not alone, really! :D
haaayyy. two more weeks of this shit and 1/4 of my cfad life's over.. unless i fail ofcourse (and i have no intention of failing!)
in the past sem ive learned:
1.how important it is to suck up to teachers. im more than guilty of some backstabbing, here and there.. but i know that i DO love these guys. especially sir nacario. he's the jigsaw to my saw, to our saw.. yet nevertheless he's so nice to us AND WE LEARN MORE THAN WE BARGAINED FOR. which is nice. love sir paner, cura (duh! ofcourse, its macci speaking!), zamora, sir pollarco, sir mark, ummm..maghuyop, and well.. more or less everyone.
2. how to really love my blockmates... finally we've come to terms with each others differences. we're so over the claiming of a character's bitchiness and the sort!
3. the real meaning of stress!
4. the importance of tracing and enlarging!
...
chabo's the new dog. esme, al and sam are the older bigger ones. evidently and inevitably, the older dogs get jealous of the new one. WHY WOULDN'T THEY?? take these cases for example :
1. esme's eating 'kaning baboy' in a six year old metal balde while chabo's eating expensive dogfood inside the house.. !
2. chabo gets a monthly haircut plus grooming costing 450 per visit, gets a bath twice a week and gets her teeth brushed. esme on the other hand is suffering from a severe case of lice, which our maids are denying! fuck! you could see the gray and black particles five feet away, how dare they deny!
3. people play with chabo all day, pets her, let her sleep on our beds. the older dogs sleep on the flour, OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, BEHIND BARS.... occasional patting and greeting occurs only when the human is in a really good mood!
those are examples. its actually worse than it sounds. we're lucky esme's still eating. she cries every night and invades the living room to hunt chabo down.
i cant blame esme for feeling horribly bad about it.
---
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
tum's debut
had fun.. great pictures.. and i really am in love now! >:D<
officially, it never changes. sobs = genuine happiness.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
i am pretty, oh so pretty..
ahahahhah.. call me vain, but i just love my makeup in tum's debut. flawless!!
mwah mwah mwah. thanks world..
i know you've been shitting me by burying me in plates and more, but atleast you made me pretty. :D
I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE IF YOU DISAGREE!!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
our bunso
grabe. i love you chabo. i love you so much. feel q nga kaya ako umuuwi sa bahay because i want to see you e.. :(
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
magkamatayan na! im still pretty
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
"taenang yan!! maganda lalabas dito!!"
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
vanity is the best policy
so, it really is my worst (or possibly best) vice: vanity. id rather not talk about what i did today, i just want to say that im vain. maybe because im insecure. i know that i am. VANITY FIRST REVEALED ITSELF WHEN SOMEONE SAW SOMEONE BETTER THAN SHE IS. cuter, prettier, sexier firstly. then she finds someone who's smarter, more eloquent, more talented. the she finds someone who's better dressed. then she finds someone funnier, nicer, sweeter, loveable (not that i realy wanted to be any of the latter, im just stating that for the purpose of instruction).
all those stuff, ive written above... its pretty troubling for someone who wants to be the best in everything. but never is.
everytime you become the best in one thing, someone crushes your heart by beating you head on.
...so anyway, that's not the point. my point is im too vain for my own good.
...
another vice i've definitely gotta stop is judging people. i know stereotyping people is just so inevitable, but when i read something from someone's blog... i realized how the same we all actually are.
people are not like me. i am secret-less. macci is macci... and unfortunately, that's it. no mystery no nothing. you can figure me out in a sec. im predictable. but still, im too much. i try not to overwhelm people anymore... i dont know whether its working or not.
as i was saying, people arent like me. they've got secrets, there's something else under the judegements i mercilessly dress them in.
...
pao says:
"is she vain or is she vain? T_T i've been through hell because of that damn PMS thing. everfy night talaga honey... well anyway it dun matter i love you!! "
i love you too.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
