never ever underestimate the power of a bestfriend. they are almighty.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
there are so many issues i have looked over. one day, i have to face them. its cowardice not to do so today when i actually can. i guess, i dont have the heart. and i like the way things are.
but there are other things to think about.
for one, each day, im becoming weak. i can feel the power drip from me slowly. its no fucking drama. i do feel it. im not myself at all.
i need to reclaim myself or something. i think there's something brave i have to do. i dont know what it exactly is actually, just a vague picture of it. and as usual, even if i am not using 'the code', no one still understands.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
i hate her.
she didnt do anything wrong.. worse yet, she did the exact right thing which is why i hate her so much. she risks. she actually does something. and its really eerie to know that I CAN SO DO BETTER THAN HER, but she's the one who does everything that i actually should be doing.
i should just abandon it, i guess. but i do love writing about how much i despise her. i am not jealous. i am not insecure. i just love blaming her for the things i havent done that i shouldve.
naguguluhan ka noh!! u dont even know her!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
i have been sulking for two whole weeks already. i have no reasonable excuse for doing so. people probably have seen right through me, even if i use studies to get them off my back. well it's neither friends, home, or 'love'... im just, according to patts' point of view.. "maturing".
oh am i really? unlikely. im probably just extremely solemn these past few weeks. i've no idea why i ended up like this!!
im now one of the most unsociable people existing. i barely talk to people excluded from my circle of close friends. i find most of the things boring. i cant wait to go home when i'm at school. i dont want to go OUT after school. just home. then, i end up staring at nothing in particular while lying in bed. well, i do my assignments sometimes, YES THATS HOW BORED I AM.
to make things plain... im becoming dull.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
i can't wait to go to college.
im not sure if i can manage the legendary burden that my seniors keep warning me about, but aside from that, i can not wait for college.
firstly, FREEDOM! i can not wait to have my parents off my back when i want to go somewhere and go back home at a certain time (probably late). wahahaha! you know me. i live for that kind of stuff.
secondly, highschool is boring me. perhaps, its just THIS particullar year (we KINDA worked out our differences yesterday, if u must know. i doubt it'll work. the effect is already wearing off) ... but i still cant wait to get out of 'tipol'.
and, college is new. i love things new. new people. new experiences. new bloopers. its another clean slate for me to work on. like some sort-of project.
(i so bet i'll regret saying that i WAS excited about college!) :D
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
i just had my bangs cut. i look really different. i despised myself the first 5 seconds i looked at myself in the mirror. i was like, "what have you done??!!"
then on the sixth second, it was different. (wow! bilang! wahahahah!!) "you look different, not much better, but different is better".
life is not worth living without the thrills of change. constance make things boring. spotaneity strengthens.
i take pleasure in being unpredictable. one day i'm as sweet as honey on nectar's end. the next i'm as bubbly as a sunny afternoon. then, i am as mean and devious as a miser with a criminal mind. then indifferent, as if consumed by numbness. then i despise the world. the next day, i love it better than i did the last time.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
aside from being an ultima puto, another vice i have is my obsession of blog-hopping. maybe i should actually be a psychologist instead of an advertiser, bacause i love anyalysing the architecture of people's mind.
but what i think i would like the best is to be a writer. why? i don't know really, but i have considered it a passion. i aim for the fervor of writing endlessly. romantic words consume me.
can I write? what do you think? do you think this will get me somewhere someday when i grow up and face reality?
that's the problem! it most probably won't. so just drop it.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
let's be blunt for a moment, shall we?
mere barbe foucault, year 2006, is the worst class i have ever been in. it's got this heavy aura that you really don't know anybody and you have to watch your back. hmpf! then again, watching somebody else's back for her is much harder.
tummerz is right. why, why, why do people like them have to exist? people whose only enjoyment in life is to criticize every aspect of a normal person's existence. what's worse, a normal person who has not done anything to offend you or whatsoever.
fine, maybe this is our karma for degrading other people, for being too exclusive, for being judgemental gossip-mongers who indulge in chismis-es though bereft of any evidence.
maybe someone just had to pay for the hurts we have caused to other people. we didn't realize it back then, did we? we showed no mercy. we were wicked, selfish, and critical little bitches.
everytime that my anger swallows me, i cant help but criticize them too, which makes my level a step lower than theirs. antipatika as some people call it. yes, i do criticize for the mere fun of it. it's unalterable vice that made its way to my veins, and impossible for me to filter out.
still, i feel powerless. i am unable to do concrete action. i am unable to voice out my frustration and deppression. i am no longer adept at wearing my emotions on my sleeves. and i have to tone down my whims.
i can not wait to go to college. to start all over again. to get away from all the misfits of highschool, the trivialities.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
me and my sobster-chicz
l-r: ange (tedi), aina, dadeish, yours truly, blanche and marielle.
beach babe sistahs:
and most of all, me enjoying the luxury provided by puerto del sol and a glass of melon shake! yumm!! that the true essence of delicious and heavenly!
.~.~.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
now this is me and my honey pao. the guy who will take care of me, even if i make fun of his hair.
and we call each other...
now this is one of the best photographs i have ever taken:
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
