comparisonII
if there's something about me that i want to change but just doesnt have enough guts and will to do so. the second, (considering the first i'd love to change is too cnfidential) would be my very very annoying habit of comparing. i compare myself with people. i compare other people with other people. i compare what i've got and what they have. it almost never helps. i either degrade myself or other people, so it's never ever been a good thing. and, being the very envious person that i am, i become vain-er, more magastos, and much much much more laitera.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
conclusion : difference between men and women
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
conflicts
my barkada finally resolved ur conflicts. there is no way to make our open forum work but to actually adapt and change after it. open forums are created to let out the opinions, our whines and our whims. it feels so refreshing after that, and its like starting anew. i like it. but i lost faith in open-forums already since its failed me twice. but i haven't lost faith in sobs.
the actual thought of somene ACTUALLY leaving crossed our minds a while ago, and it was scary. someone leaving is breaking everything. we'll be no longer sobs. the last three or two that left is tolerable, but we cant loose any more of them. i won't take it!
when you leave, you break us. its not as if we can move on pa. it doesn't work like that.
i love you. and it may sound clingy but i can't bare not having sobs.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
when i turn 64
hulio macaranas is my inspiration. he doesn't know it, nu-uh. but, he's accomplished every goals i've been aiming at. he was his university paper's editor-in-chief, a double-scholar, was sent to different countries because of his skill, took up pol sci and succeeded, wrote a book, traveled a lot, had a beautiful wife and beutiful kids, manicured nails (seriously), and became a successful attorney. overwhelming, huh? that's all i have ever dreamed of, and im so scared because i think i just made my life a game. if i become like him, i win. if i don't, i know that i didnt maximize my god-given skills, didn't do enough for me to succeed, and has been a piece of shit. in other words, i lose and do not deserve to live anymore. prssuring, huh?
by the way, he promised he would take me with him this october to an awarding for the country's best campus-editor..erm..thingy. i might forget it, please avid readers (if i fucking have any!) remind me because thsi is a big thing for me. its a reminder that i am an ,insignificant talent-less, shit pile who would never be anything unless i do something else than blog.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
