after i've written the long and well-prepare reintroduction (see previous post), i will now jot down the reasons why i can very much be the least likeable person in the universe.


i play the role of one of the country's stereotype bitches.

{filipina bitch - girls who could make a living out of complaining about every little inconvenience, like a security guard who does his job very well of checking every pocket in our bags (bah! as if they exist.), and eyeing anyone who passes them by, judging the person head to toe from hairstyle, fashion-sense, toenails, and manner of walking. mostly found in the nearast mall appreciating "socialite" status by proclaiming self 'in' with a grande chocolate frappe or in my case tall hot cafe mocha. lugging boys around as a symbol one's being "attractive". buying numerous teen magazines. spending on fake coach bags and fake coco channel shades. uses english (with an accent, none the less. obviously untraines or naturally spoken, it doesn't matter. the saleslady knows nothing much.) to make salesladies feel, what's the term, inferior and gain "respect" from them. get the picture? bitch, i tell you.}

im not very good at it, though. i cant find the perfect fake coach bag so i end up occasionally stealing my mom's real one when i go out. i dont buy too much magazines anymore, since i end up being more maluho with each mag. if i am or am not a genuine bitch, you decide.

as ive warned most people in other previous posts, i am C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D. i very much am. im in the pinnacle of being complicated. i am, without further exageration, the principal of all complicated people existing. this might be a product of my inability to learn who i really am. this is surely a product of my inability to decide what i really want. there you have it, indecisive. im one of the people who possibly cant face the consequences of their actions or even the permanent suspense of my risklessness. back to my being complicated. and my mind is a complete mess. so are my emotions. which makes me unstable emotionally and mentally (that sounds so sad, doesn't it? mentally unstable me.)

and i cant stand being reprimanded. ever. whenever anyone does, be it my parents, friends, teachers, boyfriend, or erderly strangers, i would either dash out as fast as i could away and not hear a single word more or i begin to hold a grudge which will stay inside my system for as long as me and the reprimander shall live. maybe because i believe im perfect. im secure of myself. too secure. sometimes, overflows with immature confidence that i make a fool of myself and just "laugh" along with the crowd.

im also, very self-conscious. i need to always be pretty when i go out of the house. otherwise, i'll be in such a bad mood that nothing goes right anymore. i spend so much on makeup and clothes and books and everything. maybe it always comes with being a girl. vanity.

though self-conscious, i am very undemure. i have no finness whatsoever. sometimes i act too rough i turn of all the guys off. action before contemplation. dancing too much, or joking around inhesitantly. oh, and no tact at all. very much no tact at all. everyone knows that. and everyone hates me for that. my mom, teacher, friends, boyfriend, elderly strangers... they all fucking reprimand me for that and remind me to keep my mouth shut if i have nothing good to say anyway, which is so often, but i just cant keep my mouth shut.

and i do nag. i just can go on and on and on and on and on... exactly like what im doing now. which is why sometimes, i think, that maybe the exact reason for my passion of writing. i've got so much to say and not enough acquaintances to bare my every complaint and rantings.

and i can be very mean. especially with my sister. very insensitive and rude and annoying. im sorry for that, i very much am. but i cant help it. i got so used to being mean to her.

and i have a very short temperament. i could just go off in a single moment and explode. and when i do, boy am i foolish! another one of the times when i often make a fool of myself.

im an oc. i want everything to be clean and perfect. if it isn't, i dont want to have anything to do with it anymore.

and i hurt people so easily. virgos have this certain characteristics that we think we are so innocent, that we always are guilt free. we're insensitive and plain stupid. and when those two ever-so-wonderful traits are put together, you often end up hurting people unintentionally. so dont like me at all, everyone. you might just get awfully hurt.

posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni | 1 comments

reintroduction

as an evidence of my attempts in starting a new life, i will now reintroduce myself.

although unsafe (accdg to parent-imposed regulation decree1737829), i will not hesitate in admitting more-than-accurate information about my nonfictional self in this entry.


to begin with, i'm a sixteen-and-a-half-year-old aspiring writer (or call me a writer-wanna-be--poteyto, potahto) who considers this so-called blog as an instrument in bettering my skills (though there are none, really). it is a dream to get published by the time im 17, however impossible that is at the moment.

i'm an incoming college freshman and am very much bothered by the thought of being in the bottom of the food-chain again. the preys of predator bullying.


aside from writing, i feel the almost similar extatic urge in shopping and other fashion-involved activity, e.g. dressing up. (though writing is obviously less pricey.) i'm an impulsive yet wise shopaholic who appreciates tiangges in greenhills and divi, prefer semi-branded clothing stores (f&h, bayo, espirit), loves top-notch of philippine fashion of mango and topshop, and wishes to purchase items from prada, LV and the like one day when im what i aim to be, a successful, highly-paid, street-smart, eloquent, bossy bitch!

i dont watch tv and listen to music as much as typical teenager should. i prefer wasting my time on other things like.... anything else.


if i had been fortunate to sport a statuesque built, i would've defintely tried modeling. dream on, right? haha. but i'd love ramping down the catwalk in flowy threads and etc., with bright-yet-gloomy lighting and techno-aura-ed music and a-little-too-cold-on-my-skin temperature and critics scribbling down their o-so-gravitational 'comments and suggestions' in a pad.

im a hard-core feminist by the way, believing that women should be better appreciated!



i was molded by one of the most satisfactory and bonded barkada in school. (unfortunately, it proved to be not so tight in the end of highschool era.) according to them i am a sensible-joking witty fashionista who speaks up for petty things (human rights, edsa revolution, friendship, family and religous beliefs or disbeliefs) ever so often. they complain, however, of my temperament and my inability to shut my mouth when i ought to. that's what they think, and i bet they stand to be corrected.


my family is composed of: a mom and a dad (who are still so obsessively in love with each other. as if they still are in their courting stage); a sister who loves anime too much which lead to her abnormality of acting and thinking as if she is an anime, too; another sister who is clueless of what is to become of her and would most likely to become the family favorite; and me, the different one who spends and parties too much (that according to their standard of what a normal teenager should be). i'm usually teased as the orphaned one because of being different from them. that hurts most of the time, actually, especially now that i'm thinking about it.


my boyfriend, after a year of complicated courtship, dislikes me for being not-demure-enough but aside from that, he loves me all the same and believe me to be perfect--for him, atleast. and i love you too, sweetie! ;p (yeah, i'm sure you read my blog regularly). my parents are scared of him. fine, not scared. rather, their petrified of him! i wish julia goes out with a gangster anime goth maniac, so that they'll see how very much a nice guy he is... no matter how horny. :* kidding aside, he's nice and loving and is the sweetest thing that has ever happened to me.

the words he'd describe me the best: "complicated". who am i to differ??


the best books i've ever read all my life, aside from three infamous j.k. rowling and dan brown books, are: "Sloppy Firsts" and "Second Helpings" by Megan McCafferty, "Shanghai Baby" by Wei Hui, and "Mirror Mirror" by Gregory Maguire. ooh, i like "Memoirs of The Geisha" too, EVEN BEFORE IT WAS TURNED INTO A MOVIE!

so far, i am not very much enjoying summer, i hate the manner by which i graduated, anf i cant wait to jump into bed with the aircon on full blast and read, or write, or begin another historical sunrise talk.

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fuck off. please.

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