emode! useless me.
i havent written anything for a long time because i was thinking that my ability to write have sunk way low.... like in depths kind of low. my words are repeating, my rhythm is no longer poetic, there is no artistry of any sorts... in other words, these are all emotions jumbled up, written down, expressed in the manner of someone attempting to be a writer.
this blog is my only outlet of the life-long "dream" i've vacated a year and half a sem ago.
lets be emo, shall we.
in terms of literary fashion, i am becoming really useless. untasteful. the only way i get any crowd to read this blog is to expose the dark yet abnormally petty secrets ive been hiding carefully the past few years of my life. the know hows, the insecurities. this blog should be censored even, but it isnt. i find myself too shockingly, tactlessly honest... i'll hate myself for this soon. but, to be fair, having no secrets about yourself is like relieving yourself from some weird itch-like burden. im personally a little less stressed now. "know yourself and be effing honest!"
and still no one reads this but me. undiluted vanity. my narcicist self. i read my blog and im so proud of myself... but whenever i look back at the past entries, i just want to cut my fingers off to remain me from blogging.
i hate paolo because he never reads this. :(
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
