on everything now.
i feel better.
here's how i used to feel. i felt burdened with everything, which is really really really weird, because im not really part of any problem. problems i had, i conducted it on my own. and it involves me primarily. wow, grabe... conceited.
i felt unneeded by anyone. i felt unmissed, i felt unseen, i felt unimportant. i felt that i have no right to feel this way, because some has the greater right to feel worse. I SUPER FELT LEFT OUT... (oh, but we've already established and figured that out. remedied it too, even.) i felt alone. i felt drifting. i felt unchanged, unlike everybody else.
i know that something wrong was in the air. emo week. emo month more like it. i wanted to solve everything, i wanted to remain calm and for a while i used to feel that i must remain indifferent, that i have to be normal, just to give out the "aura" that there isn't anything wrong with us.
indifferent made me think "go lang ng go".... let everything be. the thing is, most things like these are either solved by time, or left by time. i guess we all just expected time to solve it for us. that would be fool-proof and effortless. in our own minds, we acknowledged the wrongness. but no one would dare blurt it out, bacause blurting it all out means saying the right words. how would we know if we had the right words for it.
...
KADIRI. I CRIED! eeewww,,, weak weak weak! you know i hate crying, dont you? i personally think im papansin enough without it. i sooo do not need the extra attention. well, it did turn out for the better didn't it?
a few modifications here and there, like me not annoyingly butting in like a total loser and annoyingly whispering in everyone's presence like a spaz and blunting my tounge out in terms of major major major tactlessness and pretty much cursing.
my goodness, with all those "macci-ness" of me going around, im betting id be graduating without friends. last na to promise: tang ina naman. :( sad face.
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atleast, im getting the jeans. :) happy face.
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yup, new jeans, with my new found bestfriend, pipao.
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pipao, who is totally pretty. way prettier than me, unfortunately.
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he doesnt need makeup to be pretty. :( i do.
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
