The Chronicles of She who will never again get herself drunk
I have been semi-drunk several times before. Semi-drunk meaning not completely drunk. well, actually it's plainly tipsy.
i have learned that no one really knows it when they're getting drunk. that is is possible to get drunk without you knowing it. so there really IS such a thing as a limit. and my limit is two and a half san mig light, NOT two and a half RED HORSE! NOT EVEN A BOTTLE!!! A BOTTLE AND A HALF GETS ME WASTED.
if i were a guy, i'd get turned off by myself. i threw up twice or thrice, and somebody else had to clean up my mess. fuck! fuck fuck fuck!!! i nearly had the glass smashed, AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!
and everything sound worse when people narrate it. well, what can i say?? I WAS THAT WASTED. actually, i knew everything that was happening around me. i can understand what they were saying and i do answer back. but whatever it is i answer back, it was all instuitional, not really intellectual. and i remember more than remnants of it.
still. im facing such a difficult time. i feel so irresponsible and fucked up. i feel like im breaking down. i fall apart without my starbucks planner, bible beside my bedside table, and without my conscience.
apart from all that fucking drunkeness, this has been one of the worst weekend of my life. if not the worst completely.
and the person who gets credited the most as bearing fault of all these is yours truly.
i've been irresponsible, insensitive, repulsive, proud. i think this is one of the lowest point of my life. and i have no idea how writing about it helps. maybe it's therapy. all i know is that im so grossed out with myself. and i bet most people are too. i am creepily patapon.
i can blame current issues for acting that way. but that's just stupid. i've been irresponsible. fuck fuck fuck fucking irresponsible. in more ways than one.
im sorry to everyone i hurt or repelled or whatever. :( it's not just about THIS getting drunk issue, but it's a part of it.
i swear i'll be good. i swear, i swear, i swear!!!
posted by the irresistably conceited Jenni |
